Sunday, August 31, 2014

Dream Diaries I

Well I decided that I usually like my dreams and would like to keep a log of the interesting ones so here goes.

Opening Scene:

The authorities waiting outside some kind of park with darkness falling thick and dark. Its time for the park to close but they have kept the gate half open because a couple is yet to return. The daughter is standing outside waiting for her parents to come back. She has blonde hair and has a pretty dress on. She looks worried and is explaining why she did not stick with her parents. I think I have seen her before but I dont really want to accept who she is. The forest rangers have their guns ready and are pointing it at the gate when they see two people emerge from the foliage and rush towards the gate. The parents are here but they are white as a sheet.

"We lost our way and couldn't find our way back to the road" blurted the Mom. The Mom had the same blonde hair as her daughter.

"How? Are you alright" the Girl ran out to meet them

 "We heard the closing gong and panicked and somehow wandered further into denser bushes. We screamed but it was muffled by the trees.....and then we saw it. There is something out there..something was very whizzed past but we could feel its stench as it flashed past was no animal or man.."

"Thats all right. You need to rest. Let's go" the Dad comforted her and led them away from the gate. His jet black hair was in stark contrast to the other two family members. They silently walked away from the gate.

The gate closed.

Scene 2

"We must be careful. We will need to stick to the plan and find out whats in there"

I along with four other rangers went in on our bikes to investigate what the woman had encountered.

"Keep your eyes peeled and your dart guns ready". We slowly moved into the forest till all we could see around us were gnarled roots and trunks covered with moss and lichen. The air was dank with moisture and even the sound of our bikes were muffled.

All this while my vantage point were my eyes and I never saw my face or as a matter of fact the faces of my mates.

A sudden movement to our right as something rushed by.

"What was that? Lets move ...move into a slight clearing ahead"

As we formed a circle to cover all angles and stood back to back we held our breath and cocked our guns. And then I saw it clear as day as it whizzed in front of me. There was no doubt about it - it was a white tiger on a bike and moving fast. Its eyes were red and the black stripes were etched magnificently on its white coat.

I felt a swoosh as something slashed round my neck even as our darts missed the target and  hit the tree trunks. Blood splashed across my eyes and I saw the tiger get up on a moving open back truck with five heads in his claws, blood dripping through his paws and a menacing look in its scarlet eyes as it stared right at me.

My vantage point still remained over my shoulders, where my neck should have been.

Friday, November 11, 2011

More About Life and Shit

It started slowly.Like the rays of the sun slowly kissing the hem of darkness and slowly blending into the fabric of time and space to concoct a altogether new entity- a change, a change to which you are forced to adjust no matter what. Only its sometimes hard to tell the dawn from the dusk specially if you have not really been paying attention to what was that had you besieged in the prior space (or time, but then space and time are interchangeable as some wild haired German guy with his tongue sticking out, would have us believe or maybe I just got that wrong but being from an elite academic background or atleast believing that you do, has a compulsive character of forcing you into such statements and holding your ground defiantly).

But then where was I? Yes. It started slowly. Like the end of a tablecloth catching fire from the last embers of a burning cigarette placed there by a mindless idiot who cant hear the cotton cringe as it burned itself to death. Not many care for the cotton you know; it is one of those things that PETA doesnt cover cause it is not alive enough for them or for some other group of those famous-would-like-to get-naked-with-nice-body-paint-on-our-body groups to care about. Though I must tell you those PETA guys have some good photos in their gallery. I must remember to do something like that when I grow up. Grow up. Thats a good way of procrastinating things. Its a simple trick we learn as kids to dream of becoming drivers of UFOs and hoping to get there somehow in the end. Most end up as UFO's (Unidentified Fucked-up Objects) but then thats a close miss. And when I say I want to be like that when I grow up I dont mean like the models, no I have too much hair in the wrong places for that (and maybe I am missing some other nuances too), no I mean like I wanna become like Hugh Hefner. And damn that girl who refused to marry him in the end- she has got some balls!!(maybe the reason why she refused in the first place but on second thoughts we should have seen them in the earlier editions of Playboy but then there is photoshop never know anything for sure these days).Its good to dream.It gives you a reason.
But then it all starts slowly; a flash to a conflagration, an egg to a dinosaur or an omlette(okay maybe the omlette isnt as big as a dino still it is bigger than the egg).
You just have to keep hoping that it is the dawn not the dusk-maybe hoodwinking yourself but then thats ok-its called Choice.
So there.
PS: If the above doesnt make much sense to the sane maybe it is not for them or maybe because there isnt any there but then thats open to debate. Your chalk may be my cheese. But then enough with the disputable choice of arrangement of words and sentences. Bonjour.(Incidentally a folder in most of your C:/Programs folder too, a mere passing thought , thats all). But then bonjour is Hello ,isnt it?, but maybe thats what I mean , I dint say Hello before ,did I?

Sunday, July 31, 2011


Mumbai. My first love. You can call my school my first crush.After all that age is all about crushes, isnt it?The Campus - my very own Katrina Kaif. I specially loved the odd semesters. After a three month break I would be raring to go back to my own paradise. And the rains. I loved the rains. The first week of the semester- the cool wind blowing with a calm soothing touch to your face,the speakers filling up the room with the titillating tunes of "Nayan Tarse",a few drops of rain coming in from the windows-the whole blend gave me the high of a joint. No doubt I have abused the rains many a times for coming down the moment i stepped out for classes and drenching me to the bone but all that is easily forgotten and forgiven. Standing out in the wing allowing drops of cold water to to trickle down my face in thin streams brought an amazing calm to the mind, erasing all other thoughts. I never really grew tired of the incessent drizzle which often drove others nuts.(one of the reasons might be that I just stayed in my room or in the hostel enjoying the weather without having to worry about going out or anything - one of the many luxuries our dear old campus and iit curriculum allows us). I hope next weekend it will rain in mumbai when i am there.
Talking about the campus how can i not mention those awesome people who made life so much fun that just remembering their faces brings a stupid grin on my face. The campus is like a huge pot of khichdi with loads of vegetables and stuff; there are all kinds of genres of people available here, some to laugh at, some to laugh with and others for their own idiosyncracies. It is the people you get to laugh,live and learn with who really make life so freaking awesome. leaving them behind as life takes you apart is not the easiest thing to do for any of us. But the show goes on and you must come up with your philosophies to make all this bearable and even enjoyable. My own personal philosophy is - there will always be something worth to look forward to - u just have to look out for it. Moreover just knowing that these guys are out there and will never really forget you you feel more confident about going out and experiencing the new. Calling these people just friends doesnt really do justice to the nature of the relationship- they are more than just that -they are the makers of the best four years of my life and my greatest support.These are the people I have sat guffawing with in lectures, making lewd comments/jokes/cartoons and sharing every painful or weird thoughts with. These are the guys who know my strengths and weaknesses better than me myself and whom I adore more than anything. I could never really be sad with these guys around- the reason i could keep on smiling even during my valfi. See you all next week. :) tab tak ke liye izazat dijiye.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Munaf ka Bat

What is the deal with Munaf Patel's bat?Understandably his bat has no sponsor stickers on them but why does he walk out with a bare piece of wood without any kind of embellishment whatsoever? He is a world class player and one would expect that his bank balance would allow the lad to buy some branded bats like maybe kookaburra or atleast reebok- instead he walks in with a stick which perhaps his mom used to beat clothes with and gave it to the young turk when he made a ruckus for a bat at home.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Word List 40

The leaves quivered gently even as the cool redolent drafts caressed them with a motherly affection providing redress after the blazing heat of the noon. The ebbing slivers of light refracting from the broken pane adorned the refectory floor soothing the senses with its mildness- a pleasant respite from the reek of stale bread permeating the room. The refractory mouse scampered past the mouse-trap gingerly refraining from disturbing the week old piece of cheese.

Outside, the tea-stall owner sat scrubbing his kettles in a desperate attempt to refurbish them to their once regal refulgent glory but the ebony of time hardly ever bows to the redundant acts of man; yet while hope remains man perseveres –that is his wont and his strength.

Far off under the cool shade of the banyan sat the village bard regaling a throng of young urchins to a regimen of tales of regattas and regeneration and many a intriguing regicides of yore that he reminisced from his childhood. A rejuvenated expression illuminated his countenance even as he quelled an occasional rejoinder here and a quibble there and continued to enthrall his audience with lores of redoubtable wars and relegated kings. His repertoire with its myriad flavors evidently found great approval with his audience. Further down the shore two kids sat munching the remnants of their lunch-pack while the crows cawed in remonstration, seeking their fair share. Their remuneration came in the form of a hurled stone from the young lad.

The calm was soon lost as trumpets rend the silence announcing the arrival of a procession of gaudily dressed revelers going to a marriage ceremony. A herd of cows joined the rendezvous from the side with their rendition of bovine emotions, reneging the revelers a passage to pass. A few renounced the road to escape the onslaught only to get rents in their garments from the roadside brambles. The angry demands of reparation from the revelers only drew a remorseless repartee from the cattle-driver. While the altercation continued people started to repine and long for the repast while others made a beeline for the nearby liquor store to replenish their supplies.

Away from the melee, near the repository Aman sat poring over the newspaper. A surge of anger suffused through him as he went through the reprehensible and heinous acts of violence by the reprobate which had apparently drawn a strong and useless reprobation from the authorities. Repressing an overwhelming desire to tear the paper in two and cry out in repulsion and repugnance he reminded himself it was only a reprieve and he would be out of here in no time. But deep inside he knew there would be reprisals – they will requite this deed, they surely will. The cool redolent breeze still blew through the leaves but to his ears the sound was nothing more than a requiem.

This was a lot more impactful when i thought it out- believe me.It is supposed to be the first chapter of a very serious book/movie.It is supposed to be philosophical and slowly coming to the topic which is much more severe than the frivolities described before.And the end is supposed to be ironic. Anyway....

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Lessons From Germany

  1. Always pee before you go out anywhere.They charge you Rs 30 for a leak and in someplaces twice that amount!! Thats a bit more than 1 liter of orange juice!!It doesnt feel right to have to pay more for the end product than the raw material.
  2. Dont put cooked vegetable in a covered bowl and place it on a chair in the corner of the room.You tend to forget about it and are then reminded of its existense by a innocent draft of wind which kind of chokes you with the lethal aroma it picked up on its way over the bowl. Then you suddenly realise why that one fly had come to reside with you the day before and in yet another naive move you lift the lid of the bowl. The next thing you know is waking up in the hospital.
  3. Mixing dal and vegetables and cooking them together and then pretending that it is a soup is ok.
  4. At first try to impart taste to the vegetable with judicious use of spices. But then if it doesnt work out, as is the case in more than one occassion just add ghee and be done with it. It takes care of everything.
  5. If you ride a bicycle after many days, specially if the seat is a bit too high dont do it for too long.
  6. They should add Maggi and Aloo Bhujia to the first aid box. A man dying from starvation wants nothing more.And achar to make even self-cooked stuff edible!!!
  7. If you buy a bottle of wine you should have a corkscrew, else all you get is a pretty bottle sitting on your table which is not really what you paid for really.
  8. You can drink tap water anywhere. You are an Indian-it is one of those appurtenances (ya i m learning new words, hence...and by the looks of it still stuck on 'A'..its a long way before I get to Z...zzzzz..i think that explains the connotation of a reference to sleep, u know coz u r done then so..) that you get along  with your nationality. The bacteria simply enter the blood stream and say to each other 'Scope!' and slit their wrists.
  9. Your head is a messed up place. Dont go too far in. U never know what u will find. Btw I found that last cookie in the packet of papad - I dunno how it got there - I thought I had put it in the drawer. It was a bit soggy though but still ...
  10. If you think your jeans needs to be washed just keep it separate for sometime- after sometime it somehow looks very clean and wearable ...dunno how this works ..maybe relativity...
  11. Never ever go to a german restaurant.They serve crap at the rate of gold. They probably think if the color is same so should be the rates.
  12. You cannot abuse anyone for the terrible omlette you made, putting in a whole lot of salt pretending to be an expert chef who knows exactly how much salt makes it taste good. You sure do miss those three words ' Mummy khana do' or in case of the hostel 'Aaj tatti bana hai'.
  13. Nikelodeon thinks that the only cartoon ever made was Spongebob Squarepants. There is even a channel which keeps showing a potato shaped character doing something or the other 24*7. 
  14. I have had so much carrot in the past few weeks that I can feel my ears along with my two front teeth growing longer  and everytime I see a hole in the ground I feel like jumping in and join my fellow rabbits. Maybe I will see Wonderland and the Chesire Cat.

To be continued....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Some Awesome one-liners/comments

  1. 'DevD is important but it is not google' - Mayank (Sharma probably..dunno..yes and i must acknowledge that this was an excellent sm from someone who is not on my list of top ten people with an excellent sense of sm's)
  2. 'Abe bachpan me bhi mujhe Schrodinger equation nahi aati thi to kya us samay main sota nahi tha kya?'-once again our unequivocal king of one-liners Mayank Sharma when someone suggested that he should dedicate the night to study for the exam on the morrow as currently he was only as well acquainted with the concept as he was with  the composition of rocks on Mars.
  3. 'Abe ye srojinder equation thoda samjha na'- contemporary genius Raunak Jain
  4. 'Is laash ko thikane laga do'- Matti after NCC camp and referring to his legs.
  5. 'Kitni haggi shakal hai be teri' - Shit in his indigenous shit style to ulti daya infi tatti
  6. 'Mujhe hai daalna' - the ending line to a gem of a poem by Shit
  7. 'I also dont like this chair over here' - Moharir sir ( u will get this one only if u were there when he said this) with the faint twitching of the corner of his mouth indicating his immense joy at being able to being able to use his favourite weapon-sarcasm.
  8. 'U dont look like a hero' - once again Moharir sir.Hail Fatta King. 
  9. 'SIX!!!...mera matlab fuck!!!'- me on being suddenly awoken. Dunno. No explanation.
  10. 'Lagta hia prof ki maut ho gayi hia' - once again me .included in this list only becoz the prof was standing right behind me and tapped my shoulder and replied - ' I am here only'.
  11. 'I am bored' - CV on someone's presentation
  12. 'Abe agar mera chutiya kata to iska matlab yehi na ki main ab kam chutiya reh gaya' - Matti.
  13. 'Abe jahar hag ke aaya hai kya??' - Chari to Matti
  14. 'Lekin ye sab to shayad hum decide karenge na' - Chari in a totally innocent tone when the guy at the beach chalked out our schedule and expenses even before you can say put(or some other short word :P )
  15. 'Choooooooootiyaaaaaaaaa hai kya' - i need not tell u who :D

I cant remember more at the moment but i m pretty sure that there are a countably infinite number of more such examples. They will be updated as soon as i chance to stumble upon them in some corner of my head which, by the way ,I have a lot of time to visit and explore.