Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Lessons From Germany

  1. Always pee before you go out anywhere.They charge you Rs 30 for a leak and in someplaces twice that amount!! Thats a bit more than 1 liter of orange juice!!It doesnt feel right to have to pay more for the end product than the raw material.
  2. Dont put cooked vegetable in a covered bowl and place it on a chair in the corner of the room.You tend to forget about it and are then reminded of its existense by a innocent draft of wind which kind of chokes you with the lethal aroma it picked up on its way over the bowl. Then you suddenly realise why that one fly had come to reside with you the day before and in yet another naive move you lift the lid of the bowl. The next thing you know is waking up in the hospital.
  3. Mixing dal and vegetables and cooking them together and then pretending that it is a soup is ok.
  4. At first try to impart taste to the vegetable with judicious use of spices. But then if it doesnt work out, as is the case in more than one occassion just add ghee and be done with it. It takes care of everything.
  5. If you ride a bicycle after many days, specially if the seat is a bit too high dont do it for too long.
  6. They should add Maggi and Aloo Bhujia to the first aid box. A man dying from starvation wants nothing more.And achar to make even self-cooked stuff edible!!!
  7. If you buy a bottle of wine you should have a corkscrew, else all you get is a pretty bottle sitting on your table which is not really what you paid for really.
  8. You can drink tap water anywhere. You are an Indian-it is one of those appurtenances (ya i m learning new words, hence...and by the looks of it still stuck on 'A'..its a long way before I get to Z...zzzzz..i think that explains the connotation of zzzzzz...as a reference to sleep, u know coz u r done then so..) that you get along  with your nationality. The bacteria simply enter the blood stream and say to each other 'Scope!' and slit their wrists.
  9. Your head is a messed up place. Dont go too far in. U never know what u will find. Btw I found that last cookie in the packet of papad - I dunno how it got there - I thought I had put it in the drawer. It was a bit soggy though but still ...
  10. If you think your jeans needs to be washed just keep it separate for sometime- after sometime it somehow looks very clean and wearable ...dunno how this works ..maybe relativity...
  11. Never ever go to a german restaurant.They serve crap at the rate of gold. They probably think if the color is same so should be the rates.
  12. You cannot abuse anyone for the terrible omlette you made, putting in a whole lot of salt pretending to be an expert chef who knows exactly how much salt makes it taste good. You sure do miss those three words ' Mummy khana do' or in case of the hostel 'Aaj tatti bana hai'.
  13. Nikelodeon thinks that the only cartoon ever made was Spongebob Squarepants. There is even a channel which keeps showing a potato shaped character doing something or the other 24*7. 
  14. I have had so much carrot in the past few weeks that I can feel my ears along with my two front teeth growing longer  and everytime I see a hole in the ground I feel like jumping in and join my fellow rabbits. Maybe I will see Wonderland and the Chesire Cat.

To be continued....

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