Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Letter to an old acquaintance

Dear Alkohol,

I hate u. From the bottom of my heart. I loathe u.I hate u in all variety,size,color, odour,taste and packaging...maybe i like the packaging..but otherwise i hate u.I dont care if u r a Johnny Walker or Crappy Cripple. I have been enlightened now and i realise that u r useless and would like to see no more of u.

First you dont taste good.No.Never. Munchings and snacks have to take the responsibility of killing your taste. Its only when we become numb and cant taste u anymore that it becomes alright. 

And whats with the hoodwinking people by coming in so many useless varieties - beer, vodka,wine,whisky blah blah....We being the fools that we are we just walk into the trap and are like 'chal yaar aaj ye try karte hian'. Its all crap. There is no different drink.Its the same u in ur one of the many putrid tasting reincarnations. Burn in hell Agent of Debauchery. (i think they do -there would be a lot of those flame shots in hell i guess...dats what hell is all about isnt it...though i dunno why has hell got to be burning and red?? maybe they spill a lot of flame shots and take pics in the sunset mode).

Then i tend to get carried away and drink a whole lot of u and then talk rubbish and do weird stuff (thats the only good part , i would say). But soon i get nauseated and all the fun is lost as I feel like all the water is gone from my body and am about to die. Then someone hs to help me to my room before or after which I turn the contents in my inside out which I assure u is not the best of experiences to say ther least.

Where did I get enlightenment from?? No,I dint sit beneath any banyan tree ...I just had a vial of truth...literally. 500ml of wine inside me did the trick. With that amount of alcohol mucking up my blood composition I went kaput. In the haze I remember having tried to call her like a zillion times but my phone refused to connect me but like a perfect money sucking network provider, reduced my account balance to zero (this is how these people get rich-fuck them!!).Then I dutifully went to the WC (water closet-thats what these germans call the heaven where we can eject all our secretions and excretions and get ready to reduce another batch of nutrients into stinking deposits which often turn into manure in our farmlands thereby increasing the fertility of mother nature-dunno what mother nature likes about it but then everyone is entitled to his own taste- and helping us grow more and more material to turn into a heap of stinking agglomerate- life is a beautiful and smelly cycle, isnt it ? :) ) yea WC it was where I gave birth to the Alkohol's son -The Puke-3 times and then finally passed out on my bed. Suddenly woke up like a jack-in-a-box at a most uncomfortable 2:30 am to find the TV  still running in mute, the light still on and me having no clue as to my co-ordinates. Slowly as lady comprehension and sir realisation touched my inner soul and the light of understanding swept across my mind I once again embraced the tangible world. 

The TV being still on was actually a good thng ;). I took joy in entertainment as provided by the cable company at that holy hour and then turned to MTV (yes no typo here) and let the songs play while I went off to sleep. However I dint recede into the comfort of slumber untill 5 and then finally switched off the TV and snored peacefully till 8-30. On my arrival to the world from dreamland ( where also I watched some strange yet interesting episodes) I found the last half a glass of Poison still there on the table which I vehemently flushed down the sink where it once again got assimilated in the vermin from which it  arose.

And hence the Devil was defeated. (U may not really see how but it makes a good ending line so dont crib)

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